Starcrost Productions Presents:
In Pro Per


Page 4 of 98

JUDGE
Mr. Cross, your failure to file documents on time in accordance with the local rules appears to be true.

PETER CROSS
Your honor, the heart of my case is that I've been severely damaged as a result of the State's action against me.   I can't always concentrate, I forget things, I can't work at a regular job, and I can't afford an attorney even if I wanted one.   I've read the local rules but I don't necessarily understand all the legal language even when I read them over and over again.   I'm trying my best with all the strength and dignity I have left.   I'm standing up for my Constitutional right to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and especially my guaranteed protection against cruel and unusual punishment.   Please allow me to present my case.

JUDGE
Relax, Mr. Cross, we're not in court yet.

PETER CROSS
I'm not scuba diving in Fiji either.   Sorry, that just popped out of me, I really mean no disrespect.

DA (to Peter)
You're the best lunch meat our office has had all year!   Do you really think you can get away with this?   I mean, one billion dollars!   The jury is gonna laugh you out of the courtroom!

JUDGE
Mr. Cross, would you explain to me how you arrived at that rather unusual number?

PETER CROSS
Sure.   There's no amount of money that can compensate me for the loss of my children.   The divorce wasn't the State's fault.   But what happened afterwards was and I will explain all of it in court.   I want my case to be heard in order to compel a change in the child support laws, and for that to happen, I need to get the attention of the entire State legislature.   I think a billion dollar award would make a big enough impression.

DA
That's ridiculous!   We have no choice but to request summary dismissal on the basis of plaintiff's failure to comply with the local rules.

PETER CROSS
Your honor, I studied those rules just as hard as if I were about to take my college final exams.   I may have failed a couple of important questions, but I give myself an A+ for effort.

Continue to Page 5


Back to the Cover Page

Back to the Home Page


Original text and web page design copyright 1996 © Peter Cross
Revision copyright 2005 © Peter Cross