I Really Hit my Bottom When I Woke up on Top of You

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I had a bottle in front of me, or else a frontal lobotomy
I don't know which, and that's the hitch
I can't remember a thing, ain't life a bitch
There was a bar, I was a star
About a quarter to nine I hit the jar
And by eleven, I blew the place
Another hour and I couldn't feel my face
Passing out in a strange red room was the last thing I knew
I really hit bottom when I woke up on top of you

I ain't jokin', I feel broken
Like a piece of chump change, a subway token
I'm on a jag, it's such a drag
I need to cover up your head with a bag
I'm half aware, I'm only human
I swear something down there smells like bitumen
I thought this shit was rotten but I didn't know how bad I could do
I really hit bottom when I woke up on top of you

Hey don't be mad, this song is rad
The entire concept's really bad
It came from a comic at Tommy T's
A real anal retentive low life sleaze
He said there ought to be a song and I knew it was the least I could do
He said "I really hit bottom when I woke up on top of you"
Oh it didn't happen, it was a joke
The man was crappin', and I was soaked
I'm so ashamed, there's no excuse
They ought to convict me of songwriting abuse
Ten years up against the wall
No females at all
Throw away the keys
Cockroaches and fleas
Please - put an end to my miseries
Oh Jeez!!!

Peter Cross is the songwriter, the lead singer and he also sings all the harmony tracks, plus he's the arranger and the producer.

This song sort of tells the whole story, doesn't it? It's supposed to be that kind of song, and the whole thing really did happen when I went out partying one night with some friends from the divorce group Second Chance. We all went to Tommy T's comedy club in San Ramon, CA, and we saw an awful comic who told some terrible jokes, but the guy threw out just one great quirky line which got stuck in the usual creative maelstrom within the Crossed Mind. It's a good example of how the creative force works through the human mind to produce something without being asked.

And here's yet another example where I wrote a song while I was driving my car. This time I was on my way home from Tommy T's and the lyrics that I heard in my head sent me into dizzy hysterics, so I pulled off the freeway to laugh safely. But of course I was way under the legal limit just in case an officer of the law is reading this! I was somewhat embarrassed by the lyric content because after all, we do want songs with lofty ideals, don't we? But I was quite amused by the unique weirdness of it all, and the music I was hearing in my head seemed to be good enough to justify the effort of going into the recording studio and spending some money. Therefore, the last verse is an apology for allowing songwriting talent to run amock. After all, we really don't have to write down everything that comes into our minds, do we? What a scary thought!