Ripped Off Again - rock and roll poetry

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This true poem was written when all my stuff was stolen from my apartment in N.Y.C.

Ripped Off Again

Ripped again. Ripped off again!
They took all my money and plucked me like a hen
I keep on meeting those rip off men

I had me a beautiful apartment deep in the heart of old New York
Bars on the windows and a police lock on the door
The building had security men from the Pinkerton Institute
But one day a tiny little 4 foot junkie slid down the chimney chute

He moved out all my worldly goods, I got peeled like a ripe banana
I hitched the first ride out of that place and I headed for Louisiana
Ejected by some crazy man in the middle of Tennessee
He rode off with my suitcase and I was busted for vagrancy

The sheriff was so courteous with his country hospitality
Room and board for 30 days, I got hip to that new reality
Wanting to show my appreciation, I brained him with my dinner plate
Now I watch TV and I eat for free as a guest of Tennessee State

Ripped again. Ripped off again!
I'm living with murderers, thieves, and rip off men
I'm a full time guest of the Tennessee pen

Only the first part about the 4 foot junkie is true. One day I came back to my apartment and noticed right away that the front door was open, which is something I never would have done. With a sickening feeling, I went in and everything was a total mess. Absolutely everything I had which had any value at all was gone. The rest of this poem is strictly fantasy, but as I read it, I'm laughing at my own sense of humor.